The myth of early maturation in females

The title of this blog probably seems kind of strange but this is something that's been on my mind recently. I'm currently reading two novels. Both have trafficing of very young girls as part of their plots. In both cases, and in general in real life, there's a belief that if a female looks like a woman, she is one.

When a female matures physically she grows breasts, usually gets a bit curvier and often carries a bit more body fat than she did as an immature girl. These things are noticible. However, breasts, which western society has sexualized beyond all reason are a focal point. Everyone matures at their own rate but once a girl grows breasts, somehow she becomes an adult. This is a myth perpetuated by men to justify having sex, or wanting to have sex with young females. How many times have we heard "she was only 16 but she was a woman in every sense of the word"? What they are really saying is, she had boobs and looked like a woman so it's ok for me to have sex with her and also, her mind is not part of that equation.

Obviously, maturation is an individual thing but I don't believe females as a group mature at a younger age than males. I don't believe that generalization can be made. What's it based on anyway? Just the physical? Certainly there are just as many males that mature physically at a young age. Just watch the Little League world series. There are always a few 12 or 13-year-old boys who are over six feet tall and I definitely remember one who looked like he could shave. Do people say he's a man? No. Girls who mature early physically are often pressured into sex or raped. Sometimes I believe these girls have sex because they get approval that way. The men, almost always older, tell them they are "so grown up". That sounds pretty good--especially to a mentally immature girl. The brain of a adolescent girl is no more mature than that of a adolescent boy.

So girls who get boobs at a young age often end up having sex before they really know what it is or what it means. They can get messed up mentally as a consequence. Even though growing boobs is out of our control, men see those young girls with boobs as "easy". Probably because they're so young. Anyway, it's just another way society (men) have perpetrated a myth about women/girls and sex. All to their own advantage.

The Death of Robin Williams-a teachable moment

When I was in 6^th grade we had to do a research project. I forget what I did mine on. Probably something stupid like the natural resources of Argentina. When I asked a classmate on the bus “what are you doing your project on?” she answered, “depression”. “Oh cool” I said and then followed up with something along the lines of “I like history” blah blah (real intelligent). “Not THE depression” she corrected. “Depression”.  Oh (huh?).  This was my first inkling that depression was a thing. A thing beyond just being depressed as in “oh I’m ok, I’m just a little depressed. I’m having a bad hair day”. When I checked the shelf at the library, sure enough, whole books were written about it. Who knew?

With the recent death of Robin Williams, I’m hoping more people will learn about depression and mental illness. Right after his death a Fox News reporter basically called him a “coward”. His daughter wonders how he could not find it in his heart to stay. People talk about him “choosing” to die in spite of being loved.  I just googled depression and the featured description, definition was

Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods.

Not accurate for all forms.  I guess I should not be surprised when websites all over the net say to avoid or prevent depression people can try tai chi, a good diet, plenty of sleep, exercise. Oh those things will probably help prevent or resolve minor depressions. They don’t cure a brain disorder. On a website describing severe depression which I though was pretty good overall said “Counseling is just as effective as taking medicine.” at the bottom. All these things disappoint me but don’t surprise me. There is still such stigma and misunderstanding of mental illness.

Over the years I’ve heard suicide referred to as a “cowardly “ act more than once. Also, I read somewhere recently concerning another suicide (I forget who—probably read it in People) that the person would never have done it if they’d known how it would affect their family. All this might be valid if suicide was the act of a rational person. Unfortunately we’re left as rational people trying to understand irrational ones. Not really possible. All we can/should do is sympathize and empathize as much as possible and support the survivors. It’s not possible to really get inside the head of a severely depressed person. You don’t know unless you’ve been there.

Depression unfortunately, is something lots of people experience in a very mild way. We all have “down” periods that we come out of—usually in a relatively short period of time. Often they are the direct result of something that happened. Someone died, a lover dumped you, lost job etc. Clinical depression is not necessarily the result of any specific event. It’s not the same as simple sadness. In fact, people can be depressed even if things are going well.  It’s a complex medical disorder. It has full-body effects. We need to be aware that depression can happen to anyone, it has nothing to do with a person’s strength or weakness. It’s like cancer.

Another strike against mental illnesses, besides being thought of as “all in your head”, is that they are often invisible. Schizophrenia may be fairly easy to spot but as with Robin, depressed people may not appear depressed. I read that some people said they never saw Robin sad, but remember, depression isn’t the same as sadness. Also, his publicist and others said he suffered from “severe depression”. Whoa. That’s serious. Although it’s not possible to really know which people who suffer from depression are apt to commit suicide, of course in hindsight, leaving him alone was risky.

There’s no cure for depression. There are drug therapies that help some sufferers but some are drug resistant. There are behavioral or “talk” therapies but they have varying degrees of success. Of course, this is if someone gets diagnosed properly and receives the treatment they need. Too often people who are depressed are urged by others to snap out of it. Absurd. You’d never tell someone with cancer to do that. Depression is a serious disease that’s still not fully understood by physicians and lay people. Tragically it’s sometimes fatal.

 

The Beginning

Like lots of other people who decide that short posts on Facebook are not enough I've taken to a blog. No one will want to read my random thoughts and musings but just writing stuff down is therapeutic. Every now and then I just want to write some stuff down so, here goes. I couldn't think of a catchy title and I probably won't write much about books and sports but some probably. It's all I could think of. My grammar and writing will be crap and my spelling too but no problem since no one will be reading. Most entries will probably be short. So with these massively low expectations I begin.